An interview with psychotherapist and author, Dr. Jeanne Safer about chronic sibling tension and non-communication.  Jeanne describes the phenomenon of “sibspeak” where no real communication takes place except the recitation of grievances, the discharge of obligations, and endless attempts to fix the other person.  She encourages sibs to take the initiative in naming what is going on directly and asking about the feelings and experiences of each other.  She especially talks about the challenges facing siblings when there was blatant favoritism from the parents.  She encourages the favored sibling to acknowledge the advantages they received and the fact that they took it for granted as deserved.  She encourages the less favored sibling not to let this fact define them as righteous and resentful victims, but to focus on the ways they do indeed have enough in the present. She closes with a description of how Freud overlooked his own favored position as a sibling, a favoritism he felt entitled to and could not examine or apologize for.  His blindspot became a blindspot in therapy, where sibling relationships (the longest of our lives) are often overlooked for the deep ways they shape our relational dynamics. Jeanne’s new book is Cain’s Legacy: Liberating Siblings from a Lifetime of rage, shame, secrecy and regret.