This episode features an interview with psychotherapist and author Dr. Jeanne Safer, who works on chronic sibling tension and non-communication. Jeanne describes the phenomenon of “sibspeak,” where no real communication takes place except the recitation of grievances, the discharge of obligations, and endless attempts to fix the other person. She encourages siblings to take the initiative in naming what is going on directly and asking about the feelings and experiences of each other. This is especially important in situations where parental favoritism is an issue. She encourages the less favored sibling not to let this fact define them as righteous and resentful victims, but to focus on the ways they do indeed have enough in the present. Jeanne closes with a story about Freud’s sibling, and a description of her new book: Cain’s Legacy: Liberating Siblings From a Lifetime of Rage, Shame, Secrecy and Regret.
