If you need to ask for help…
- If asking makes you feel vulnerable, scared, or ashamed, talk through what you’re going to say with a neutral third party before you make your ask.
- Be direct. Use the word “help!” Say, “I need your help.”
- Name what you need. It’s unfair to expect others to read our mind.
- Describe the steps you’ve already taken to address your need.
- Embrace vulnerability. It’s okay to let yourself be seen as a person who needs things. Asking for help can lead to real intimacy.
- Express gratitude. Say “thank you.”
Things to keep in mind…
- Remember that we usually underestimate people’s willingness to help. People tend to feel good about themselves when they can be helpful.
- Asking for help can be a form of self-care. We all deserve to get what we need.
Get creative with it!
- Consider how these tips can help us when the roles are reversed. How do we react when someone asks us for help?
- What strategies can we use to help ourselves?
- Do you have a story about asking for help that went really well (or not)? Tell us about it! Call the Safe Space Radio story line at (617) 600-8419 and leave us a voicemail.
“You know, being vulnerable is a scary thing—but vulnerability breeds vulnerability, and when you open up, people are people are going to step forward and meet you there.”
—Bryan Funk, Asking for Help
Print/Download: Tips & Strategies for Asking for Help (PDF)
