If you have suffered from Violence
- Know that the feeling of shame, and the fear that what happened to you means something bad about you, is part of the violence, not the truth.
- Make of list of people who you think might be safe to tell, choose someone non-judgmental, who will believe you, and has been supportive and kind in the past.
- Let them know you need to have a serious conversation, and ask them to set aside time. Take your time, and if you don’t feel ready, wait. You have choice.
- Find a therapist, who is trained to help with trauma. You do not need to be alone.
- Join a support group for other survivors.
- Partner with organizations that support survivors or work to change laws to prevent further violence
- Write your story, join a self-defense class, and practice using your voice to shout.
If you have been Violent
- Ask yourself whether you felt disrespected in that moment, and if so, identity whether there is part of you that fears you are “less than” or weak.
- Identify what steps you can take to feel less inferior in that respect. What are some actions that you can take that will help you feel less vulnerable to other people’s judgment of you? Do them.
- Acknowledge your harm, apologize, listen to the impact of your actions and offer to make it right.
If you are keeping silent about violence of all kinds, including racism:
- Listen to what survivors and People of Color are saying, believe them, take them seriously.
- Learn more about violence, read about racism, read about our silenced history, and about child abuse, rape, police brutality, domestic violence. When we avoid these issues, their power grows.
- Give money to organizations that support survivors
- Write your state and national representatives asking them to sponsor legislation for a Truth and Reconciliation Process. Ask them to enact Structural Reparations.
Do not suffer with Violence alone. Check out the “Helpful Organizations” section of our webpage that offers support groups, information, advocacy and community action.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−7233
National Sexual Assault Hotline:1−800−799−7233
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800- 422-4453
Print/Download: Tips & Strategies for Confronting Violence (PDF)